For all of the things Mr Gates has done, this has got to be the best. How many people do you know who really really need to have this read to them?

1.  When you receive a letter from your God saying it will be fair, then it will.
      Unfortunately, Gods pencil is missing so don't hold your breath waiting for that letter

2. Getting out of bed without a hangover does not count as accomplishing something

3. Not unless you are really lucky

4. Teachers aren't allowed to fail you any more, the Boss can and will fire you for being a douche

5. Today it may be called just taking care of business, the business of supporting yourself

6. Take responsibility for yourself, no one else will and still respect you

7. When you step into your parents shoes, you will realise just how cool they really were

8. You get what you work for and winning the lottery will not make you a winner

10. "Reality TV" if you really think this is real, you really need to shut it off and go outside

11. You may not work for a nerd, but it will be a nerd who is going to fix your computer for you