And the Winner is....

ME!!!
Johnny, let's show the contestant what he won.
Well, behind the door is ...A BRAND NEW JOB!!! (much clapping from the studio audience)

Sometimes my life really does feel like a game show but for today at least, I am okay with it.
A little back story is in order.

Last April I retired from the Royal Canadian Navy and began to live life as a civilian again - man, I thought is was tough being a sailor, this civilian crap is way worse <g>. After 20 years, I acquired a few skills, a few interesting ways to look at life and a few friends. One of these friends called my up and told me of a position that was needing a warm, friendly and totally awesome computer tech. Since I fit all three qualifications, I wandered myself down to the person who managed that chair, smiled and said, "Look no further, I am here." It turned out that the manager was someone who I worked with in the closing days of my military career, someone I got along with very well. He was happy and he knew it so he clapped his hands. He dragged me around the shop and introduced me to the rest of the crowd, all of whom used to work at the same location at the same time as I did. We were all happy and we all knew it, so we all clapped our hands. (isn't life grand?)

The manager set to find a way to get me into his shop. He looked and looked and looked some more and finally he found  a way. I was hired as a temporary casual for 4.5 months (micky mouse government  crap). Sweet, an relatively easy job, great people to work with, lots of learning, and my pension to boot.

The Australian Navy

In my travels with the RCN, I have had the pleasure to work with the Royal Australian Navy. These sailors are cut from the same cloth that we in the RCN, that is to say, we work hard, we play hard, and our ships are wet (meaning are permitted to drink on board).

The first time I did the RIMPAC exercise (off of Hawaii) I got to meet my first Auzzies. My ship had just docked in Pearl Harbour (another great story will ensue from this event). Once we had cleared customs, landed the garbage and made the ship nice and neat, we were permitted to go ashore. Sweet, my first look and feel of a US naval base. It was (and still is) huge and very well put together. After wandering around for an hour, I found myself at the Enlisted Members club, another very large and well put together outfit. I made my way to bar at the back of the complex and sat down in the dark (a movie was being shown on the far wall). I got myself a pitcher of beer, sat down and enjoyed the cool darkness.

Dentistry - the hard way

Hit the button marked 1988 on your way back machine folks and you will see me, marching around the base - fresh out of basic training and half way through the first course in my military career. 

My class of 10 was comprised of the standard mix of people: the angry young man, the annoying twerp, the quiet guy in the corner, the "I am so good my poop don't stink" dweeb and the person who tries to make everything go just a bit smoother.

Part of the routine of the course was that we were required to march from the school to the galley at lunch. Someone within the group had pissed off the instructor so we were marched the long way around, cutting into our lunch. During the march up to the galley, the annoying twerp decided to pester the angry young man. This turned out to be a very stupid thing.

We finally get up to the galley and get fed. I linger over a second cup of coffee and then head up to my room to have a bit of a lie down. I open the door to find my room just strewn with blood. It turns out that the annoying twerp decided to continue pestering the angry young man. Angry young man snaps and takes kicks the shit out out of the dweeb. He kicked and kicked and kicked again. One particular kick catches the dweeb in the mouth. Dweeb gets hauled off to the hospital, angry young man has a chit chat with the military police and the school chief and the base chief and and and.... We don't see him for the rest of the day. 

I get to clean my room. Nice. My room, his blood, my problem. The dweeb shows up to class a couple hours later with a couple bands of wire around his front teeth. It seems that the boot of angry young man cracked dweebs front teeth.

About 2 weeks later, angry young man goes in front of the Base Commander and gets fined $100 for kicking the dweeb. 2 weeks after that, dweeb gets the steel off of his teeth. We all get to look at his new and improved smile - very improved it turns out. Dweebs front teeth used to stick out and in odd alignment. Now they are straight and in line.

We all decide that angry young man was fined $100 for practising dentistry without a licence

And that is dentistry, the hard way

Joke time

I saw this joke on Craigslist and just had to post it here

There was a retired Sailor named Jim who started his new job at WalMart 
after spending more than 30 years in the Navy.
He was an excellent employee with a superb work ethic. However, he had one problem...
 he kept arriving for work 15-20 minutes late each day. 


Since Jim was such a great worker, his manager really didn't want to fire him, so he decided to sit down with Jim to discuss the issue of him coming in late for every shift. The manager called Jim into his office and said "Jim, I think you are doing a great job here. All of the other employees like you, and several of the shoppers have put comment cards in praising your service. My only problem is you keep coming in late for work. Tell me, what did they say when you were in the Navy and you showed up late?" 

Jim replied "Normally they said good morning Admiral... Would you like some coffee?"